Nine hours from now I'll be taking my Torts final.
Saturday I was so blue I only studied for a few hours. I couldn't make myself do it. Mr. D cheered me up, though and Sunday I was back on track and studied for about twelve hours.
I've been stressed during these exams, but not like I have been in the past. Mostly I've just been depressed.
My dad doesn't like to play games where he doesn't win. I can be the same way, unless I'm really trying to learn from someone and my losing doesn't really matter to me.
I think school is that way for me, too. This semester I don't feel like I have a chance to get the best grade in the class, so I've basically taken my ball and gone home. If I can't do REALLY well, I don't want to play.
I need to get over that. I have more to say, but I have a stack of flashcards left to learn.
How did your exam experiences differ in undergrad and law school? I know I'm not the only one struggling with these perfectionist tendencies. Does it get easier? Do you know in advance that you're going to do well, or is it a guessing game til grades come out? *sigh*
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4 comments:
In undergrad, I knew when I finished the exam whether or not I had done well.
In law school, the worse I feel about an exam afterward, the better my grade. My subjective feelings of the exam are not a good indicator of how well I did compared to everyone else in the class.
It gets better after the first semester, when you see how you shake out with the rest of the class.
And remember, it's possible to have a great law school experience without getting the top grades. It's all about how you frame it for yourself, and what you want to get out of the experience.
Well, I didn't have exams in undergrad because I was in architecture school. However, I know a thing or two about law school exams. The word crapshoot comes to mind. The better I feel when I walk out, the worse I did (and the flipside). I will say that grade-wise, I seem to have done the best on the exams I walked into with an "eh, I'll take the B" attitude. I think it's all a mind game.
With law school exams I quickly learned that no amount of studying and hard work could guarantee me an A, but that as long as I put in a certain medium amount of effort I could guarantee at least a B. Once I figured that out, I kind of stopped stressing, let the gunners spend all their time in the library, and just went on my way.
I think ultimately the law school experience is better when you stop concentrating on grades and rank, and instead think about what you want to do when you're out of law school and work toward that goal instead by getting work experience however you can.
I second that last paragraph of kt's, wholeheartedly.
Don't let it eat your soul away. That's the best I can offer. Some people manage to have some semblance of a life, and those tend to be the ones who stay out of the library. Grades matter, but only so much. And don't let anyone tell you that bad first semester grades (heaven forbid!) will make you unemployable.
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